According to the Tantric perspective on chakras, each individual will have greater or lesser degrees of activation at the 7 different levels. Some of this is a natural tendency, but the chakras are also activated by the activities you do, the places you spend your time and the people you hang with, your habits, the foods you eat and so on. This is usually an unconscious process, although Tantric practitioners have learnt how to activate certain chakras and will work on specific chakras directly in order to achieve things in their lives and to create certain states of being.
When it comes to relationships, each couple will have a polarity at certain chakras. For example, a couple that provides each other a lot of stability, nurturing and material luxury in their relationship has a strong polarity at muladhara chakra (the base). The couple that is very passionate, dramatic, and fiery has a strong polarity at Manipura chakra (just below the belly button).
Polarity is the ‘charge’; the feeling we all know when we are irrevocably drawn to someone. One person is the ‘plus’ and the other the ‘minus’, like a battery. In each relationship, one person is the masculine charge, one is the feminine charge. This isn’t about who has what bits or heterosexual couples only, this is an energetic exchange and can fluctuate. The tantric perspective is that each human has a masculine and a feminine aspect of self. An individual may be more masculine (emissive) at the level of one chakra, and more feminine, (receptive) at another chakra.
In relationships this ‘charge’ is what brings the juice! When a couple has a lot of polarity at the level of Svadistana (the chakra at the level of the external genitals), they are super romantic and very sensual. The masculine polarity is the ‘satisfier’ and the feminine polarity on svadistana is ‘satisfied’. When we think of ‘being in love’ we often think of anahata chakra (the heart), yet the pure love of anahata is a very different thing to the sensual, romantic, sexual realm of svadistana chakra. Svadistana is about satisfaction, eroticism, enjoyment and doing things out of desire. There can be a trap of getting stuck in the senses if there is a lot of activation at svadistana. A dear Tantric teacher of mine said this is just a simple error of mistaking the reflected light of the moon for the pure light of the sun.
Svadistana, being about pleasure, fantasy and satisfaction is a chakra that can get us into trouble. For example a svadistana food is chocolate, and it can be hard to stop at one piece! When svadistana is not harmonious, you will experience jealousy, petty dramas and get far too caught up in things that really aren’t important.
A healthy relationship needs a strong dose of polarity at svadistana if it is to remain interesting at a sexual and sensual level. However if this is the only chakra that has a strong polarity- the relationship will feel a bit lacking beyond a certain point. The ideal is to have a strong and harmonious activation at every chakra, to be a happy, balanced and peaceful human.